NO GOODBYES (CHAPTER 1)
Romance
Suspense
Addiction
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THE MEETING
Ariana climbed the stage with a mic to sing that Sunday morning, it was her turn to lead and she was fully prepared to take on the stage.
Poised and elegantly, she stood with both hands thrown up in the air muttering words no one could hear, to God as she listened to the piano playing softly in the background for seconds. Her eyes were closed, she was holding the mic with her right hand and her other hand lifted up to God in worship, she raised a familiar song and everyone joined in and started singing,
Oh Lord my God
how excellent is your name,
In all the earth, how excellent is your name.
This they sang as she seemed lost in God's presence, passionately worshipping her creator. Then, she opened her eyes slightly to see the assemblage lost in worship likewise, and, then... she saw him...
He was standing in the middle of the congregation, on the second row, 5th seat, very close to the front. With his both hands up in the sky and his face up, with his eyes closed. He was lost in koinonia (fellowship) with God.
I could tell from where I stood that this man was out for God, and I on the other hand was out for myself kind of situation, seeing that I was nolonger concentrating on the spiritual, as I was caught off guard. I was between a man and God. Kai! What a physical moment that was, that a man stood in front of me, and I lost sight of God.
Terrible yeah? I know, but it did happen and still happens...
I became distracted, although no man noticed as the atmosphere was still lit and the congregants were lavishing on God. I'm sure they thought I was also taken by God, seeing how the service was going..
I got lost, totally lost in deep thoughts, staring without control at this man in front of me, in front of God. Who was not even paying attention to me.
He was fine and tall, light skined (almost white). His hands were the most beautiful hands I'd ever seen, his face was adoring, his nose were pinned and pointy. He was outstanding and noticeable, his charming looks will always give him away no matter how large the assemblies.
For a moment I was thrown off balance, (that moment was a pretty long one if you ask me).
Okay, okay, okay, I know what you might be thinking, how in the world did I get charmed, when I was supposed to be the charm right? And why was I carried away easily when I was supposed to be focused on God, right??
Oh well... These things do happen, and when it does, you may not know how, or when it will happen. And also, you may not have control over it. I am not defending myself in any way, I was guilty as charged, but I'm just saying. It may have also happened to you, who knows?
Good thing his eyes were closed. So
I managed to gain control and tried to stay calm as I was already trembling with the mic shaking in my hands in some way I never experienced before. I tried closing my eyes if that was going to help, but each time I tried, it felt like he was even closer to me..
Hold on everybody, hold on, who can relate to this?
You know that moment when you're hiding from someone and you enter a dark room just so the person won't see you, and then someone switches on the light and its the person you're hiding from...
In this case, the person is in front of me, a bit distant from the stage, but each time I close my eyes, I see him standing in front of me on the stage than when my eyes were open. So every time I open my eyes and close it, it felt like he was still standing in front of me, like I could literally feel his breath on my face which was almost impossible to believe without him coming up close to me.
What is this? What is going on? What is happening to me? Ha! I'm losing it.
I opened my eyes and saw he was still standing where he stood. Then I said to myself, "girl, you're crazy you know right?"
Because I began thinking, how would someone who is distant from me be so close that I could feel his breath next to mine if I wasn't crazy...
It was getting intense, as I kept managing myself to sing with my eyes closing and opening to reality, and my mind drifting into an oblivion and back.
This I kept doing until one time I opened my eyes and saw him staring at me, ha! I froze!!!
Like I was agape (my mouth was wide open with no words) I was going to sing the next song but couldn't as I didn't expect to see his eyes open, and to crown it, he was staring back at me, interestingly. It was quite an experience, a moment for me.
In as much as I wanted to dwell on those thoughts and explore the time I had right there because it felt like everything good, everything sweet you can imagine, I quickly remembered I was still on stage, so I managed to look away until I exhausted my time up there and I walked down to my seat.
(Hmmm I almost fell down)
When I got to my seat, I couldn't raise my head up because I was ashamed and felt a few people would have noticed what happened, so I kept my head down for a while, and when I was done and ready to raise my face, I saw this guy looking at me still. It felt warm, too warm for me. I experienced a sweet sensation running through my entire body, the type I love to enjoy.
I was in a state of excited feeling, I couldn't explain how uneasy I began feeling again, it was even worse than when I was up there. I started sweating profusely. I didn't know what was happening to me.
I prayed for the service to be over soon so I could run away. I wanted to run away so bad, I couldn't take it anymore, it was as if I would explode, I didn't know what was going on with me or to me, it was more than my words could explain. This was an experience stuck in my head I could never erase, no amount of events could cloud it. I can't explain it, I can't explain it, I can't explain it away...
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